March 21, 2007
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The Truth about Cats and Dogs
I’ve learned a lot from having a cat for the last few years. My whole life I’ve had dogs. I love dogs. They are so loyal and loving… how can you beat that?
Cats are very different. For the longest time, I thought that cats could also be loving… it just took them time to warm up to you. But now I see that cats don’t think in terms of love. They think in terms of trust. If a cat trusts you, she will act in a very loving way; she will snuggle up to you, roll over on her back, and even lick your hand. To an untrained observer, it looks and feels like love… but it’s not.
Why is it important to distinguish between trust and love? I haven’t quite figured this out yet. But one thing I’ve noticed is that trust takes a long time to build. A cat will often completely ignore you at first, while she pays close attention to others she’s known for a long time. This isn’t because she doesn’t like you; you just haven’t had enough time to earn her trust.
I guess I am writing this because I’ve learned that some people are like cats. You can’t take it personally if they don’t seem to like you at first. They just don’t trust you yet. It takes time for them to trust you… just be patient, and it will happen. And when it does, it can seem just as special as love.
All this gets me thinking about myself. Am I a dog or a cat? I guess I am a bit of both… when I was younger, I was like a dog – very trusting and loving. But as I get older, I am more like a cat – I grow less trusting with each passing year. Or maybe I trust people right away… but only to a limit. And with my closest friends, it takes years to earn my trust?
I am not sure where I fall in this continuum. But I am curious. Are you a dog or a cat?
Comments (74)
A cat, for sure. Maybe that’s why I have five of my own!
I love cats… Hey John
Hugs, Tricia
Dog. But if you mistreat me, I leave home and you gotta find a new dog who will be inferior to me!!!
i’m a turtle… i’m slow and i like to eat shrimp… i also have a house on my back
hmm both… maybe more of a cat.. hahahaa
although i prefer cats,
i would have to say that i’m more of a dog than i am a cat.
I’m a cat. -_-;;
Definitely a dog
I trust and care about people and give them the benefit of the doubt.. it’s probably not the safest or best thing to do, but it’s how I work anyway.
I was a dog when I was younger, too. (That didn’t sound good…*ahem*). Now I’m definitely a cat.
I guess i’m more of a cat person even though i dont really like cats.
Like the new look, although i was expecting something different. It would be cool if all the xanganeers had unique looks.
I’m a cat, without a doubt. I’ve known some people for years – they call me their friends – and I still can’t trust them. Especially my friend Rebecca. I just can’t bring myself to put trust in her.
I’ve known a very close friend of mine since we were very young, but I’ve only learned to trust him in the past year or so. Yes, we are closer now; much closer.
But in 90%, 18% experiance, an 7% insanity, I’m a cat. No doubt about it.
[karen]
*that’s 90% honesty
[karen]
arf. i can’t get along with cats in general, can’t understand them. same thing with “cat” people. loyalty is what counts in my book.
I used to like dogs more than cats. But then I got a cat of my own. He was the sweetest cat I’ve ever had. Then, just like that, he was gone. He got killed by a car. I miss him so much.
wow…that’s interesting…good thoughts!
and of course, there’s probably a good balance between trust and love that is best.
some more thoughts…is shyness perhaps connected in there too? so, shy people are less likely to associate with you if they don’t know you…but once they get to know you, they’re usually great. So in that sense, shy people are like cats.
So does that mean that shy people tend to be more on the cat/trust end of things?
But perhaps there are more levels to this. Cause I trust most everybody with a lot of things…but then the next step of what I tell is a long way off and I have to really, really know you.
hmm…
I’m more cat than dog…but it took extreme abuse of trust given to make that happen.
I love cats and dogs. I’m also pretty trusting and I love to love.
I like this post.
I’m a baby porcupine, it’s obvious.
Well said, John.
And, I am a cat.
I’m a cat & have been since I was molested by a NEIGHBOR as a young boy; now i have two house cats just to remind me not to me too trusting of others:~)
I’m def a cat.
Cat.
I love kitties. ^_^
That is deep stuff. I like cats better than dogs, and I am like a cat also. Last year my cat ran away and I still miss her. If our dog (who is very adorable) ran off, it wouldn’t affect me much.
under your definition, i’m definitely a cat. no doubt.
good post.
maybe the “loyal and loving” creatures don’t see how awful people can be in real life.
maybe that means that the “loyal and loving” creatures are not that intelligent, or insightful.
or maybe they are delusional and hyper-optimistic.
dogs eat most things –
i once saw a dog eat carpet -
and then poop it out
in a long stringy mess
i am not a dog, for sure.
i’m not sure this makes me a cat, tho.
i may be more like a panda bear…
meanwhile -
asking someone what animal they are like -
or what animal would they most want to be
is one of those psychological questions -
the adjectives that the person uses
in their description of their fav animal
is what they think of themselves…
happy spring!
I am a dog all the way!!
That is so true about people and cats. I really like this blog.
I am a cat who love dogs and mice. I am a weird cat, I must be a Liger!
you’re right.
I get increasingly cynical with each passing years.
Am I becoming bitter, or more realistic about my perception of the world?
This is a very interesting observation! I think according to these descriptions, most people are born as a dog, but then many people gradually turn into cats. At this point in my life, I guess I would be Cat-dog!
i r teh cat!
cats
cat here.. and that drives my husband nuts. he can’t stand that when i don’t trust him that i don’t act like i love him.
total dog. trusting and loyal to a fault.
I’m a cat like nobody’s business. The people I get closest to tend to be cats by this definition as well, perhaps because we have the same issues in common. I think once two people, who are not necessarily “distrusting” but maybe “hard to convince,” find it in themselves to trust each other, it is one of the strongest bonds besides an honest love.
However, I do want a dog. A miniature dachshund. Longhair. Preferably red. Not like I’ve thought about it a lot or anything.
nice new theme / template John!
I’m a dog at heart. But I’ve been trying to be more like a cat. Too much heartache!
I’m more of a dog. I trust people pretty easily unless they give me reason not to, and I’m usually quite loyal to the people that I find most important. Then again, I’m also only 16, so maybe things will change in the future.
I think I’m a cat. I went through a dog phase years ago, but not the good kind.
I’m definitely a dog… you have to make me not like you.
Something looks different here but I can’t quite put my finger on it…
Just kidding, nice layout.
That’s very insightful. I hate cat’s, ironic because my name is Kat, but in that sense I would have to say I am a cat. I will never look at cat’s or dog’s the same.
I suppose I would be a cat in a dog’s skin, in this context. I’d like to trust, I try to trust, I seem to trust, but I still have this cynicism about me that keeps me from truly trusting. It’s sad that society is like this. People who think well enough of humankind to trust are seen as naive and perceived as a negative attribute. Why must trust be earned? Why can’t it be given freely? I wish I was more trusting.
I more like a alley cat. I go where food is and don’t trust anyone. Especially people in off green suits with nets.
After a while trust turns into love. When a cats will roll over and let you rub its belly for a while before digging its claws into you then you got to the love point. Another sign is if a cat is willing to play with you. For example when they stand on top of a door and wait for you to enter a room then jump on your head and starts to eat your hair then you have a cat that loves you. It take a whole lot of trust or a little bit of love to believe that the person you jump on wont throw you across the room to slowly ooze off a wall.
I think I’m more of a cat than a dog. (although I can exhibit dog-like qualities to a certain point) I think we become less likely to trust a person immediately as we get older. We’ve seen enough to know that not everyone is what they seem at first.
I am a dog person though I’ve always equated dog = loyal = man’s best friend.
I’ve always thought of cats as wanting food more than as trusting. Your take on it makes me think of myself as more of a cat person in that regard.
Heh, reminds me of Meet the Parents when Robert deNiro is saying how dogs are sellouts and will like you from the start but you have to earn the respect of a cat. I think I’m a little of both, leaning more towards a cat. I take a while to warm up to people like a cat, but then turn into a dog with love and affection.
Dog for sure
i am a cat. But i like dog. But i have a cat at home. It takes really some time for me to establish friendship with others.
I would disagree with that. Having had more than a few cats, it’s an individual thing. They can also be very needy and yes, they do trust…but they do love, as well.
LOL I’d have a hard time trying figure that out. I have charactistics of both. Um…Dat! Cog?
i’m a bit of both as well. i’m suspicious of people at first, but i bond quickly (or at least i try to), and come to have the “dog-like” emotional features almost right away. altho… i have to wonder about your theory on cats. you say that a cat takes time to trust you, and once they do, they allow you to come closer to them. and it feels like love, but it’s not. then, you say that dogs are very trusting and loving right away. why do you think cats lack the ability to love?
wow, this is interesting. I like dogs more! But i must adit i’m more of a cat, it’ll be quite difficult to love so easily in my opinion.
cheers!
Great post!
It’s funny to think about it like this. I guess I am a little bit of both. I trust everyone until they give me reason not to. Then it takes me a long time to rebuild that trust.
I’m a mixture of both
I am too much liek a dog. I trust someone until they prove I should not. This is a huge issue for me at the moment so it is interesting to me that you gave me a new way to think about it.
i could say im a dog.. besides the fact that i love dogs, i could also easily trust people at a snap of a finger.. is that bad?
thats a bit hard to sort out, since trust is a huge part of loving someone … I like your analogy. gives out a clear view of what you’re trying to express … i guess most of us are dogs at first then ends up being cats after a bad experience ..
i’m a total cat. mebbe that’s why i luv cats more than dogs. i like dogs but i luv cats.
I love cats but I don’t think my personality is like either animal.
i’m definitly a dog…loyal to the end. my bark is waay worse then my bite.
yay. haha
i’m probably a cat too!
You like to eat at Greasy Spoons? you and my Mom…she never passes on up.I did a post on Diners earlier.
I love the new search bar and loook forward to it !! You do such a good job with xanga,I really enjoy it. Thank you.
I think people in general are more like cats… basing relationships on trust rather than love. Love can exist… in the same form… but trust must come first
i like cats very much
You didn’t say how you ‘know’ a cat can’t love like dogs do. I think I’d have to disagree. If you are right though I’m a cat.
I’m a man dammit! Not some Dog or Cat. Would you agree with that statement? i bet someone will submit that they cannot!
i’m a cat for sure.
hey john thank you for accepting me as your friend.
I’m not just a dog… I’m a WIENER DOG: stubborn, charming, silly, and moody. Oh yeah, and rather smart.
I have to say, I’m not sure I agree entirely with your opinion on cats and love. Trust is a pretty essential part of love. You can’t love without trust. Dogs love you right away b/c they trust everyone automatically. You hit a dog or step on its tail, it trusts you again (though if you hit it so hard that it traumatizes the dog, it won’t want to come near you again).
It can take time for cats to learn to trust, but who’s to say that once that trust is earned it’s not real love that shows through?
I think all non-cat people simply haven’t met the right cat. Yes, many cats are stand-offish and snobby and prefer to be left alone. Then there’s my cat, who’s almost desperate for snuggles as soon as I get home after being gone for a couple hours. I think she’s the kind of cat that could turn anyone into a cat lover.
That’s an interesting thought.
I’ve heard that everyone starts out as a “dog”. Children love their parents naturally. They like to play, and have fun, and most children easily trust others. …much like dogs.
But, as children become teens, they slowly turn into “cats”. They stop trusting people, and everyone seems to need to earn their trust, except for their peers. (This transformation happens around middle school.)
As they leave college, and get a regular job, and start living life, they slowly become “dogs” again…especially when they have children of their own. …it’s only a theory I heard once.
Have a good start of the week. – JN.14:27 Rom.5:8
that was deep.
CAT
i’m a cat if i don’t trust someone i won’t talk to them